When the world around me gets too big
I close my mind, block out the light and sound
Find the small place I can be free
Free of the voices, free of pain
The world where I can dance a sing without care
The star of my stage; life ahead of me
Where I am beautiful and interesting
Not this reality of an awkward being
Trying to fumble along and be herself
In a world that has no time to play
Over the past week or so, I’ve been asked advice on a whole range of topics, some mundane, some explicit. I get asked my opinion a lot, but these questions are not just opinion, but how what I do can factor into their lives. This is straight up advice. I have never been the person people go to for advice. Most people look at my fringe lifestyle and just dismiss me. I’ve never been one to take advice as I go strictly on instinct and pure trial and error.
I’m the first person to admit my mistakes in life. I should’ve prepared for college. For some reason, I thought I was too stupid for college, so why try? Then I found out, too late, that I have a form of dyslexia, not stupidity. I tried college, but didn’t stick with it. I should’ve stayed. I did go back eight years ago, but life got in the way. Again, I should’ve stayed. At least I was the straight-A student I’d always wanted to be.
When I met my husband, I was told never to marry him because I was too young and hadn’t had many boyfriends. We just celebrated our twentieth anniversary. When I had my kids, everyone gave my all sorts of advice. I stayed by what I felt was right. I went on to homeschool though everyone had strong feelings against it. I have great kids who now excel as people, one of whom is now an adult.
During my years home with the kids, I learned skills that I continue to enjoy to this day. I can’t understand the need to be “perfect” even with my excelled skills. Everything is the best I can do, because no matter how good I think I am, there is always going to be someone better. This knowledge makes me push myself to be better than myself, no one else. I can’t be younger, taller, or more talented than I am, so I have to use what I’ve got. Which means, if those are my only limits, I’ve got a lot to work with!
Of course, I don’t know where to start, if I am truly destined to advise people. I’m smart enough to throw the idea out there and see if it lands anywhere. So, there’s this.
Everyone has their opinions. All I can do is show by example. Which isn’t such a bad thing, is it?
I’ve been asked.
It’s what drips from the essence of your soul
When you place your needle in my groove
There is no song in my heart